CINEMA APOCALYPSE HORRORSHOW 2005
CONvergence Science Fiction July 1-3, 2005
Bloomington Sheraton Hotel
Cabana Room 226
Friday 9:00-11:00pm Without Warning
It can never be said that Cinema Apocalypse does not support the arts. This movie stars not one, but two Oscar winning actors. Of course, it was made during their drinking stages and it's possible Martin Landau and Jack Palance would prefer to keep this stinker off their filmographies. Anyone who watched late night TV in the 80's remembers this as the movie that Predator ripped off. Alien comes to earth to hunt humans for fun. It can become invisible and uses slimy, leech-like suction disc to disable its' prey. Great b-movie fun that stars Larry Storch (F-Troop, Gilligan's Island) and a young David Caruso.
Friday 11:00-1:00am Undead
Fun zombie film that proves that Australia can play the dismemberment game as well as their US and UK counterparts. Meteors fall on a small town and bring with it a plague that brings the dead back to life and boy are they hungry. Equal parts gut-munching black comedy and alien invasion film with a great cast and the splatter that matters. This has been a hit at every festival its' played and here's a chance to see it before the MPAA does its' own slicin' and dicin'.
Friday 1:00-3:00am Happiness of the Katakuris
Leave it to Takashi Miike to come up with an all singing, all dancing and all killing remake of the deadpan Korean black comedy; "The Quiet Family". The plot concerns a family that's doing their best to run a backwoods hotel when all their guests begin to drop dead. Be sure not to miss the completely f-upped opening sequence. Another cult-classic from the twisted mind of Miike.
Friday 3:00-5:00am Stacy
I got three words for you: Japanese Schoolgirl Zombies.
Now that your tongue is back in your mouth stop in for 90 minutes of frenzied bloodshed. After a strange virus hits Japan, all girls between 15 and 17 die and return as "Stacys"; flesh-gnawing, limb-severing, teens who can only be destroyed by being cut into 165 pieces. This movie doesn't make a lick of sense, but who cares with all the red stuff flying around. Beware the butterfly twinkle powder.
Saturday 9:00-11:00am Turkish Superman
With all the attention that the new Batman movie has been getting, the critics have seemed to overlook this brilliant adaptation of the Man of Steel from Turkey. Sure, Christopher Nolan brought out the dark side of Batman's psyche, but no actor has portrayed the superhero's human failings as convincingly as Tayfun Demir as Superman.
OK, I'm completely full of crap. This is another in a long line of Turkish remakes that shamelessly steal from the far superior originals (ahem). Watch in amazement at the not-so-special effects, laugh at the incompetent directing, and try to make the best of the hour and a half you can. Yes, we know it is stupid.
Saturday 11:00-1:00pm Hercules in the Haunted World
This should have been called Hercules goes to Hell! Hercules and pals travel to Hades to help a dying princess and run into rock men, lava streams, and Christopher Lee as an evil sorcerer. Master director Mario Bava has crafted the finest of the Hercules films that manages to be both scary and suitably cornball. Saturday afternoon cinema thrills and chills at their finest.
Saturday 1:00-3:00pm Don't Be Afraid of the Dark
Another late night TV favorite from a time before infomercials and reality television. Kim Darby and Jim Hutton inherit an old house and find out that their are scarier things than rats in the cellar. Darby unknowingly lets loose a horde of little shrivel-faced goblins and of course no one believes her. These were good times when the networks weren't afraid to traumatize children and ruin many a parent's good night's sleep. Now you see them, now you don't - now you die!
Saturday 3:00-5:00pm Big Meat Eater
When was the last time you saw a Canadian sci-fi musical about robot aliens, radioactive meat, and psycho janitors?
Yeah, it's been awhile for us, too. Wannabe cult film that succeeds in spite of itself with goofball characters, songs that will stick in your head for weeks, and rotten pig heads. Don't ask, just watch it. You'll never be the same - but in a good way.
Saturday 5:00-7:00pm Three Supermen and Mad Girl
I'm simply going to steal the review of this from the Shocking Videos website where I purchased this "masterpieceˇ:
Evil yet curvaceous platinum blonde in a red Vampirella outfit and rhinestone glasses does the bidding of a cut rate Satanic supercriminal in a rubber Halloween mask. They're aided in their diabolical pursuits by their henchmen, a band of green robed Klansmen! Anyone who stands in their way gets done in by a raygun-toting robot made out of silver painted cardboard boxes who makes people disappear in puffs of smoke! Very possibly the greatest movie ever made!
Saturday 7:00-9:00pm From Beijing with Love
Stephen Chow does James Bond in this gut-busting spoof of 007. Teamed up with a female partner that can't stand his pathetic advances, Chow must find China's stolen national treasure. He is as bad with a gun as he is with the ladies and proves it at every turn. Every lame Bond cliche is mocked from "Jaws"ˇ to John Barry's signature theme. Make sure you don't miss the classic Bond opening. Further proof that along with "Shaolin Soccer" and "Kung Fu Hustle", Chow is Hong Kong's greatest export.
Saturday 9:00-11:00pm Nightwatch (Russia)
Not the Ewan McGregor-Nick Nolte thriller from a few years ago, but a big budget Russian variation of "Underworld"! The good guys have set up a "Night Watch" to keep tabs on the agents of darkness as they go about their business in our human world. Things get quickly out of hand and soon there is in all out battle between the two sides. Not just another vampire vs. werewolf retread, but a well-done serious treatment of Russian mythology. And there's lots of neat monsters, too!
Saturday 11:00-1:00am Arhan
Hyper-stylish Korean martial arts spectacular in the Volcano High vein made by the director of "No Blood, No Tears". This starts off as your standard 98 pound weakling meets up with the Grandmaster and learns the secrets of the martial world, but only after several agonizing training sequences. It then shifts gear into one of those can't believe your eyes-did he just do that-WTF? just happened Asian juggernauts.
Attention deficient movie goers have pretty much ruined the old school kung-fu flick by demanding way too much virtual eye candy, but Arahan takes it in stride and cranks out one bad ass film.
Saturday 1:00-3:00am Mucha Sangre
Old school horror favorite Paul Naschy hooks up with the new style in this amazingly bloody Spanish flick that matches Peter Jackson body for body in the bad taste category. Aliens have come to earth to repopulate using very questionable methods. Two escaped prisoners hijack a car and go after the big boss to get the money owed them. Of course, everything goes wrong, but as in real life it seems there's nothing a trusty chainsaw can't fix. Must see gore magnum opus that plays like Dead Alive meets the Evil Dead meets John Woo. C'mon there's time for one more.
Other titles TBA as audience and time permit.
Unless otherwise noted, reviews written by Scott Williamson.