Cinema Apocalypse: The Martian Chronic(cles) '06 (xpost)
Cinema Apocalypse: Martian Chronic(les) ‘06
MarsCon ’06 Schedule
An ordeal of outré cinema the likes of which you’ll seldom see screened!
March 3-5, 2006
Holiday Inn Select, Bloomington, MN
Admission free with Convention admission!
Friday, March 3rd
9:00 pm-11:00 pm Braindead
Not to be missed! This is the completely and totally uncut print of Peter Jackson’s Dead Alive. More gore, more guts, and no pointy-eared elves!
“I kick ass for the Lord.” Watch yer back Elvis!
11:00 pm-1:00 am The 13th District
Written and produced by Luc Besson (Leon), this is another near-future dystopia, like Escape from New York with a lot less Kurt Russell, and a whole lot more martial arts butt-kicking. Areas of Paris have been walled off to contain the most dangerous criminals and only one man can protect the innocent folks trapped inside.
Best martial arts scenes since Ong-Bak. Really. You have seen Ong-Bak, haven’t you?
1:00 am-3:00 am Mystics In Bali
Jaw-dropping Indonesian horror flick that features a foreign gal who gets the bright idea to study black magic abroad and runs afoul of a local witch doctor, of course. Sure the special effects are f’ing terrible and the plot makes little sense, but where else at MarsCon are you going to see a flying severed head with dangling entrails go after a pregnant chick’s fetus?
Answer me that, smarty-pants!
3:00 am-5:00am Burial Ground
An archeologist foolishly raises a group of maggot-ridden monks and they spend the next ninety minutes reminding us why the Italians were the true successors to Romero’s living dead royal lineage. Forget those new-fangled attempts at zombie mayhem, because it was all done better and redder over two decades ago. Plus this could have the creepiest kid played by a midget in cinema history.
9:00 am-11:00am Spook Warfare
Coolest monster mash since Dracula met the Wolfman. Strange group of monsters unite to take on a hideous vampire demon. Or is it a demon vampire? Can the army of the Yokai defeat the evil Diamon and save all the villagers from certain death and an afterlife as the unholy undead? So many questions, but I’ll put my money on the umbrella monster or snake-neck lady any day.
11:00 am- 1:00 pm Black Sabbath
Bava meets Boris in this classic Italian chiller. First up is “The Telephone”; call girl Rosy is stalked by ex-boyfriend Frank. She calls a friend for comfort, but things are not as they seem. Next up is “The Wurdulak” with Boris Karloff: A young man finds refuge in a house waiting for the return of daddy dearest. Daddy shows up, but he is not alone. Finally, in “The Drop of Water”, a woman goes to prepare the corpse of a dead medium and pockets some of the dead woman’s valuables. Needless to say, bad idea.
Mario Bava at his terrifying best. Tim Burton likes it too.
1:00 pm-3:00 pm Call of Cthulhu
The H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society produced this silent film of one of the master of cosmic horror’s greatest stories. Presented in “Mythoscope”, this mixes modern and vintage styles to create the one of the most faithful adaptations of Lovecraft ever brought to screen.
A must-see for fans of Lovecraft and dark fantasy.
3:00 pm-5:00 pm One Dark Night
Underrated 80’s teen horror flick has “cute-as-a-button” Meg Tilly battling “not-so-cute as-a-button” Karl Raymar, a psychic vampire with a bizarre lust for high school girls and a hatred of silverware. Meg must spend the night in a mausoleum with Raymar’s freshly interred corpse. Meg’s sorority sisters decide to get all “Scare Tactics” on her ass and all hell breaks loose.
Flock of Seagulls haircuts and parachute pants are encouraged but optional.
5:00 pm-7:00 pm Save the Green Planet
Poor, crazy Lee thinks aliens are invading and it’s up to him to save the Earth. He kidnaps the CEO of one of Korea’s biggest companies whom Lee is sure is in on the galactic invasion plot and tortures him in his basement. Equal parts horror, sci-fi, and comedy; this is easily one of the best of recent South Korean cinema.
9:00 pm-11:00 pm Descent
Anyone who has seen Neil Marshall’s Dog Soldiers knows this dude has the horror chops. This is his second feature and is easily the best horror film of 2005. A group of friends is trapped in a cave and realize they are not alone. Fast paced, gory and just plain bring-an-extra-pair-of-pants terrifying, this is one not to be missed.
See it here before it’s butchered for a US release.
11:00 pm-1:00 am Sympathy for Lady Vengeance
Third in Chan-wook Park’s vengeance Trilogy, this follows Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance and the masterfull Old Boy. The plot is simple: Lee Geum-Ja goes to prison for a child abduction-murder that she did not commit and spends the rest of the film planning her revenge. However, if you’ve seen either of the above you know that Mr. Park never makes it that easy.
Painstakingly beautiful, this proves Old Boy was no fluke and Chan-wook Park deserves to be bigger than Eli Roth(Hostel) or James Wan (Saw)
1:00 am-3:00 am Magic of the Universe
“Ever wonder what a Sid and Marty Kroft kiddie TV show directed by Alejandro Jodorowsky would look like? This Filipino fantasy film comes awfully close. A vengeful witch abducts a sideshow magician’s family and keeps them imprisoned in her baroque forest castle. Our heroes come to the rescue and encounter countless bizarre monsters and characters along the way. As its title suggests, this film borrows heavily from Masters of the Universe and other Western films, but its nonstop barrage of surrealistic and garish images is truly indescribable. Intended for children, you’ll cry for mommy once you see the protagonists scarf down hot monkey brains straight from the noggin! This film is SO outrageous, a scene where a circus geek disembowels a live chicken with his teeth to the accompaniment of “Jingle Bells” emerges as one of the milder ones!”
Make your reservations now. Seating is limited.
(Descriptions written by Scott Williamson and Todd Wardrope.)